There is a lot going on right now. We are in the midst of a global pandemic, an unbelievable election is still playing out, and many of our children are doing some form of homeschooling. Not only are parents mentally and physically fatigued, but our children are also.
It’s extremely tough in a climate such as this one to think positively much of the time; however research has shown that positive thought helps us overcome mental and emotional barriers, and gives us the tools to manage them. This doesn’t mean ignoring these barriers and pretending they're not there. Consequently, when we modify our thinking, and get our children thinking positively we help them develop these tools themselves.
Below are a couple of concrete strategies to help children (and adults too!) rework their thought process into a more positive one:
The Power of Choice
We all have the power to choose how we think. Let’s think about what happens to a child’s thought pattern in a time of difficulty with learning; do they shut down or panic? Are they able to find a way to work through the problem? It's in those times you can facilitate learning by how you get children thinking positively.
For example, some kids are terrified of looking ignorant in front of their peers when they struggle with learning. Kids can be tough critics, after all. As a result, they tend to stay quiet and reserved, even when they know they know the answer. It's that immobilizing "what if I'm wrong" mental block that prevents their progress. You can encourage your child to think critically about their predicament by asking:
What is it you fear the most about being wrong?
Has anyone ever actually called you stupid for being wrong?
Do you know anyone who doesn't make mistakes? (We all make them.)
Let’s play it out… what do you think would happen if you asked your question in class?
Positive Self-Talk
Self-talk is the inner voice that goes on inside our heads throughout our waking hours. Positive self-talk is when we talk to ourselves in a reassuring, kind, and more optimistic way. It’s the shift from saying to yourself: “I’m an idiot, I can’t believe I failed this math test” to “I’m so bummed about how I did on the math test but I’m going to talk to the teacher and get some extra help for the next test.”
Creating a list of positive self-talk statements can help children to begin to reframe their thinking and outlook. Children can select from the list or come up with their own to create their own personalized list of ten favorite statements. Having a pre-made list can be helpful to start discussing exactly what positive self-talk sounds like.
Modeling positive self-talk can be impactful too. Practice using positive thinking skills aloud when talking about yourself and others. For example, instead of saying “Putting this furniture together is too hard”, instead, try “Putting this furniture together is going to take some time and effort today”.
Positive self-talk is intertwined with the concept of growth mindset; the idea that talents and abilities can be achieved through effort, and that these traits are not fixed. To learn more about growth mindset, click here.
Every student has a different learning style. For an individualized plan customized to your child's needs, please contact Dana Aussenberg at danaaussenberg.com or email dana@danaaussenberg.com.